Helper Helps Raz Find Help For The Squirrel

Franklin , Tennessee -BVD was there-The City of Franklin was a buzz yesterday , when District Attorney Kim Helper helped longtime citizen and Franklinite , "Raz" find the squirrel.

Franklin District Attorney Helper blushed ass she remarked , " Oh it was nothing , really. I didn't have anything else better to do with myself and I felt sooo sorry for Raz and I thought , maybe it would be a good idea for me to show the people of this fine city that I'm also good for doing other tasks ass well , besides just sitting around pining on my own ass all of the time , looking like I'm someone important while getting paid. You do know I do other things ass well besides slamming the law down on those poor little spoiled 'n rich Brentwoodians. You do know that , right?"

Unfortunately , Raz did not catch the squirrel. Raz later replied , "That Dumb Ass of a Bitch. What was she thinking getting in my way like that. Doesn't she have probably something more important to do? Damn it all to Hell ! I had that squirrel all along. His ass was mine. Damn it! I was just faking him out is all."

BVD asked the squirrel about the incident who stated , " Thank God for Dumb Asses 'n Dumb Broads. I didn't know what was going on at the moment. I thought my hair was a goner fur sure that time. Ole Raz is getting better all the time at catching us squirrels. Just ask my cousin Vinny , Raz bit his tail off just last week. Man , I tell ya , it hurts me just to look at it. WHEW! "