Monday, October 25, 2010

Where's The Money?

Franklin , Tennessee - BVD had a talk with Chief Moore about 28 million dollar$ that disappeared from the city's coffers.

BVD: So uh Chief , where is that 28 million dollars?
Chief Moore: Look BVD , that money was spent on renovating the existing blue prints to downsize the proposed police building.
BVD: Chief , Chief , Chief. Do the math here , no one in their right frame of mind is going to spend 28 million dollar$ to design a 36 million dollar building. No one! The math just does'nt add up.
Chief Moore: Oh yeah? Well , weeeeeeee sure did :)
BVD: Chief , when Jay Johnson hired you to be the city's police chief , it was understood you had this job for life and that no one would do a "Tim Taylor Job" on you. And now that this 36 million dollar building is up and running with 12,000 square feet of space that no one needs , you decide it's time to jump ship. So here's the big question - how much money did Jay Johnson put into his pockets?
Chief Moore: I don't know what you're talking about.
BVD: Chief , Chief , Chief. Don't , OK? Don't. When you tell a lie , you Shit on your Soul. Now , I happen to have quotes from 3 different architect firms , stating that with the money this city spent for a 36 million dollar building , they could have given this city a 55 million dollar building instead. All of those so called downsizing changes were nothing more than a couple of mouse clicks on some PC. Most of the building designs were from a canned sequence. In other words Chief , the design of this building did not cost 28 million dollar$. Plus , I also had Chairman Thackston at Cumberland University , look over the paperwork and he said he could have easily put several million dollar$ in his pocket with this kind of spending and ledger keeping.
Chief Moore: Well I don't see how Thackston would know anything about building a building and besides , that Dumb Ass of a Bastard is a stupid Moron. Even his own fellows have stated that fact.
BVD: Yes , Thackston is a Moron , butt , he's a money-smart Moron and he did write the book on taking money from those who have it. The man is well remembered for stealing Mega-buck$ from Vanderbilt University and they have yet to find one single penny of it and besides , Thackston also remembers seeing Jay Johnson attend his seminar on "How To Take Money" for city administrators. He still has the roll call for the class.
Chief Moore: Well I'll be Damned.
BVD: Is this why Jay Johnson was fired so abruptly? The new Mayor found out , did'nt he? I'll bet JJ had to open his special piggy bank to keep this out of the news did'nt he? He even let loose moore of that money to keep his own sorry ass out of jail , did'nt he? How much did you get , Chief?
Chief Moore: Oh would you just look at that cute little baby. Ooooohhhh , they have the softest of skin and they smell like brand new baby powder. I could just kiss those things all day long.
BVD: Chief , don't change the subject.
Chief Moore: Come here little baby , I won't hurt you. Come here , Daddy has some candy for you , come on over here little baby.
BVD: Chief , Chief , Chief. You and children. After all of these years of hiding it. So uh anyway tell me , how much is it worth for me to keep this story out of the news?
Chief Moore: Let me get back to you in a couple of months , OK?
BVD: You'll be gone then
Chief Moore: Exactly.