Photo Album #2

Franklin , Tennessee - the department is very proud of it's K-9 until this happened at Franklin Airport.

Officer Richards remarked , "I don't understand this. Ass much Shit that I've given him over the years he should have a much higher tolerance to Coke. I see there's moore work to be done here."

Letters To The Blogging Editor

Franklin , Tennessee - here's a letter to share with you.

Mr. Horn , (This happened a year ago) - a family member got into trouble with the law. The police decided to make a deal with him if he agreed to help catch someone they wanted really bad and so he helped them. When it was all over , the police got their man and then turned on my brother totally ignoring their agreement. What are your thoughts on this?

Dear K. B. - I don't have any words to help you feel better about this situation. Typically speaking , an incarcerated person does'nt have anything to bargain with and the police knowing this will talk real soothing like to get that person to thinking a bargain can be made. Look , just because you are talking to a police officer does not mean you are talking to an honest person

You are not the first to fall into this trap.

One fact about being in Tennessee is that law enforcement is so well known for being corrupt. You'd be surprised how many books have been written on this very subject and with Franklin Police being CALEA accredited , it also means they are married to the political mob in control of this country.

Quotes of Note

Franklin , Tennessee - do you know what THE single most crime problem is with this town?

Burglary and Franklin Police are responsible for a third of all the burglaries committed. That's equal to 1/3 of all the burglaries or just call it 30% of all the burglaries.

Now do you understand why the police have control over the burglar alarm permits? Heh Heh Heh

New Tool To Keep Franklin Safe

Franklin , Tennessee - Here is an article I wrote last year. Too bad it still does not work. There are just too many crime reports for this too handle. - here's the latest effort to keep "US" safe while "OUR" police department enjoys their new 64 million dollar building.

Franklin Police are now offering citizens the ability to send anonymous text tips about crime. Following that, Franklin Police began offering citizens instant access to happening now news and information through social media applications like Twitter and Nixle.

With the power of the Internet, citizens in Franklin now have the ability to get reliable, timely information about crime in their neighborhood; something Franklin Police Jackie Moore says is an essential component to a safe city. “A well informed citizen is a powerful component to fighting crime. We want to provide our residents every opportunity to stay well informed.”

Citizens can visit www.crimereports.com to view a map, updated every 24-hours, that details reported crimes in and around their neighborhoods. “Franklin is one of the safest communities in Tennessee,” said City Administrator Eric Stuckey. “We will work together, with our citizens and Police Department, to keep it that way. As technology evolves, we remain committed to using modern tools, such as this, to keep residents engaged and involved.”

“Last year, we achieved a 33% decrease in robberies,” said Assistant Chief Rahinsky. “Allocating our uninformed personnel in a manner that maximizes our visibility in the community pays dividends, the decrease in violent crime being one of them.”

The Franklin Police Department joins other North American law enforcement agencies who are sharing their crime information with the public through the map, like Baltimore, Boston, San Jose, San Francisco, Portland, Washington D.C., and Los Angeles County.

Kat: Duh , um , Jerry , why is it that Franklin Police need the citizens of Franklin to help them make Franklin safe butt , at the same time , Franklin Police feed on them?
Jerry: Well , it's like this , they have to find funds from somewhere to replace the city's 36 million dollars , that went missing after it was spent on giving them a building they don't need. You know , in other words , they are just being 2-faced is all.
Kat: 2-faced? Sounds like political Bull Shit to me.
Jerry: How do you think Franklin Police got their CALEA accreditation? And of course , the "New Tool" link to the crime map doesn't work either. Welcome to Franklin

Quotes of Note

Franklin , Tennessee -

Franklin Police act the way they do because the people of Franklin are too weak to govern their government

Jerry Horne @ Shoney's breakfast bar
:)

Pay Grade #5 - The Purple Triangle

Franklin , Tennessee - Do you know that Franklin Police has money to burn? They have money to rent property and they have even more money to buy property for which they use ass observation platforms.

Here's my favorite example to show how Franklin Police spend their money - do you know what a Jehovah Witness is? Do you know what The Purple Triangle is? I'm told a Jehovah Witness is getting $4500 dollars a month in rent to allow the police to place their Active Denial device inside their house so they can cause harm to his neighbor. This is just extraordinary and you would understand if you knew about The Purple Triangle. So , here's your homework-look it up. Let's face it , if I told you about it , would you believe me?

My question is - what do you call this money? Is it really rent money or "Blood" money. Maybe it qualifies ass "Soul" money. I say this because what he's doing is selling his Soul for profit at the expense of harming another human being. It's that simple. Do you realize that taking money from the police makes you police property? That's right , they bought you and that means they own you. I would never have guessed a JW would sell their Soul to harm another. Yep , I got fooled on this one.

You would be amazed at the number of World War II history buffs in Williamson County , who don't know what I'm talking about here. Meanwhile , for an interesting read , check out the magazine , "AWAKE" , February 2010 issue. This is a Jehovah Witness publication. OKay , there's your clues , go get 'em.

Meanwhile , perhaps you are asking what is being done with all of that rent money? He remodeled his bathrooms and boy-oh-boy , his Shit has never had it so good. The gold trim is simply beautiful , gorgeous , expensively extraordinary.

AMEN

Here's the million dollar question: Since Franklin Police has all this money they don't need , just how much do they spend on harassment on a yearly basis and why is it not shown on their budget? I'm sure "US" taxpayers would all like to know.

:)

Quotes and Notes

Franklin , Tennessee -

How does a Silly Assed Politician become a Crony Assed Red Nosed Judge in this Anally Stupid Back Asswards one-horse of a town anyway? This guy is so drunk he cant even hammer his gavel straight.

Overheard conversation at the courthouse , just behind those rather expensive Greek Column$

:)

Franklin Police Show Their Arrogance Again

Franklin , Somewhere Elsewhere - I was asked what is Franklin Police problem this time and I just don't know. I would think it's just them being themselves ass usual. These are the stories that people confuse "US" about because so many Franklin Police Departments in America act just like "OUR's".


A Wisconsin TV meteorologist who photographs local communities for his newscasts was pulled over by two cop cars last week and interrogated.

Brian Gotter had just photographed a government building and a public library as a backdrop, which prompted somebody to call the cops. He was with his wife and 4-year-old son. He was there about five minutes, standing in a public parking lot and sidewalk to take his photos.

He then got back in his car and drove off with his family.

+ Enlarge Image

As Gotter was heading out of town, he noticed two squad cars (lights flashing) approaching him from behind at a high rate of speed. Thinking that they were on their way to an emergency, he moved into the right lane. However he quickly realized that he was being pulled over!

After being stopped, Franklin police ran his license plate and cautiously approached his vehicle. They informed him that they had received reports of an individual matching his description taking photographs of public buildings. After identifying himself and explaining what he was doing, Franklin police apologized for stopping him and allowed him to proceed.

Thankfully, there happens to be another journalist in that same town who cares enough about these issues to address it on the air and in an article.

Jeff Wagner of 620 WTMJ interviewed the local police chief on the air, who confirmed the above the event occurred and tried to justify it by saying that the act of taking pictures is enough “evidence of suspicious behavior” to warrant being pulled over.

Wagner, who obviously has a lot more sense than Walt Hunter of CBS3, stated the following in his article:

I’m not sure any judge in the country would take the position that simply taking photographs of public buildings from public areas in the middle of the afternoon gives authorities a legal basis to detain an individual. As a matter of fact, Chief Moore might want to take a look at a recent operational order issued by the New York City Police Department which specifically holds to the contrary. It seems to me that if officials in New York City recognize that there’s no legal basis to detain someone simply for taking photographs of public buildings, it’s hard to argue that it’s justified in Franklin, Wisconsin.

Wagner takes a reasonable but strong stance against the police actions in this incident.

First, while Brian Gotter is not going to sue the Franklin Police contending that he was illegally stopped, the next person pulled over might not be as understanding. Further, what happens if the next person is a young Arab male who happens to be an amateur photographer? Will his detention be more than momentary? If so – and if he files a lawsuit – will his damages be as mimimal?

Second, if someone is stopped illegally, any evidence found as a resuilt of the illegal stop is typically not admissible in court. Wouldn’t it be a shame to lose a prosecution simply because of some overzealous investigative techniques?

Third, this is still a free country for them to do to "US" ass they Damn well please ass usual. As several of my callers have stated , so , do we want to become a complete police state in the name of national security?

While we disagree on this issue, I don’t think Chief Moore is much of a guy. If the Franklin Police think it’s worth their time to check out someone who is taking pictures of the library, fine. They can get identifying information, run license plate numbers and commence an investigation. What I don’t think they can do is start making traffic stops without reasonable suspicion or probable cause that someone has committed a crime. But they still do it anyway because they know they'll get away with it. Afterall , when was the last time a Franklin Police officer was held accountable for their actions?

So , what happens if you take pictures of the new Franklin Police headquarters? Well , just go do it and find out for yourself.

The Photo Album #1

Franklin , Tennessee - scenes not soon forgotten

It was a beautiful spring day and Franklin Police got a 28 Million dollar tip when this happened with one of their new Black n White's

Pay Grade #4 The Imposters

Franklin , Tennessee - did you know that Franklin Police have their own inhouse people who look like plumbers and even electricians? Franklin Police even have their own locksmiths.

There's no home or business or even a bank that is safe from "Our" Franklin Police department.

Do you remember the ATM machine that was stolen from SUNTRUST? Have you heard anything about it's recovery or even who dunnit?

Did you know there's a rumor going around that Franklin Police are behind it?

Would someone please tell me how a tow motor was driven 2 miles on 96 and no one noticed it? How do you load up an ATM without no one noticing that?

Meanwhile , Franklin Police even does yard work. Yep , they have their very own inhouse mowing crew and I'll bet ya didn't know that about that one did ya?

Quotes of Note

Spring Hill , Tennessee -

What IS their problem?
Whose problem?
Those assholes in Franklin with badges and guns
Will you shut up before they hear you or do you want them stealing from your house next now just shut up about them OK?
How would they know what I'm talking about in this here place?
They have plenty of money to buy friends with or haven't you heard about that yet? Berni knows quite well and was talking about how they cut him loose from a ticket
So your saying Berni is cheap
I'm saying he's right there so watch your Fucking tongue

Overheard in the lunch room at the General Motors plant
:)

Calling The Ghost Busters

Franklin , Tennessee - did you know that lawyers do not like the idea of taking police officers to court for something they did wrong? Ass long ass that officer did not kill anyone , typically speaking , lawyers will not take a police officer to court.

Why not you ask?

It's like this - lawyers use police officers in the courtroom to give testimony. You see , that officer will say what ever the lawyer tells them to say , in a court of law. Does'nt matter if it's all lies , the officer will say whatever the lawyer tells them too. That's the way it is , here in Tennessee. And yes , the court will accept the officer's lies ass being the gospel truth.

So , if a lawyer takes an officer to court for doing something bad or even wrong , later on , that officer may be needed to testify in court and he may not feel like doing it the way the lawyer wants it done. In other words , it's like , "Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours " , kind of a thing. You don't take me to court and in return , I will help you in court. Welcome to Tennessee.

And there you have it. Now you know why , lawyers do not take police officers to court. Now do you understand why Franklin Police have no accountability? They already know up front , you will not find someone to take them to court. Soooo , they do you wrong , big deal , right? What are you gonna to do about? Huh?

Like what are you gonna do? Who you gonna call? The "Ghost Busters"

Note : Yes , this information comes from a lawyer who uses police officers in court and I promised I would not name his name on this blog.

Note #2 : Yes , this same person told me about Detective Black deliberately lying to Franklin District Attorney and to a Judge on various occasions.

Pay Grade #2a Xaver Sytems

Franklin , Tennessee - the one thing I didn't tell you about the Xaver Sytems is this can be very useful in a Hostage situation. You know how it is , how many people are being held , how many hostiles are holding them , ect , ect. There are no easy answers to this situation.

The one main obstacle about seeing into a hostage situation are the doors and windows being closed and/or blocked off and you can't see thru the walls. With the Xaver System all you basically need is to get next door to help create a stealthy situation and you've got eyes. It's that easy. Unlike the old days and current TV shows , there's no drilling holes into walls and there's no need for small robots that could go wrong when needed at the most critical moment. The Xaver is just a TV screen and a power source and nothing more. The operator casually sits back and gives his report to the scene supervisor.

It's that easy.

I've got a hundred dollars that says Franklin Police have 4 of these things. You would want 4 to cover any perimeter. Of course if you look at their budget sheets , you won't find these things nor find them on inventory. If you'll remember , The City of Franklin was scammed to the tune of 28 Million dollars and these toys were purchased without the public's knowledge by using this money.

Quotes of Note

Franklin , Tennessee -

I don't get it (softly crying) I really don't
Don't get what Honey?
This town. I've read all the brochures and I fell in love with Franklin and now that I'm here I just don't get it
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about this one-horse of a mule's ass called a town that's what. This town is not the town I read about in these God Damn Fucking brochures.
Honey that's all window dressing and nothing more. Do you really think people come here just to visit fake battlefields? Where's the history in that? Look , I've been reading some of the local blogs and there are people here who wish they had stayed put where they were. The Harassment Police got rid of the Kool Aid blogger. Now what more do you want to know about this town?
Why didn't you tell me all this before?
You wouldn't have believed me. It was necessary for you to learn the truth on your own.
I've learned enough thank you very much. Can we go home now?
Yes of course we can

Overheard at Shoney's breakfast bar
:)

Quotes To Note

Franklin , Tennessee -

I've learned that just because I'm talking to a Franklin police officer it does'nt mean that I'm talking to an honest person

Anonymous conversation over heard at Publix checkout

:)

Pay Grade #3 The Vonder Veapons

Franklin , Tennessee - here's a history lesson for you. Some people have remarked how the police appearances mimic the Nazis. Their dress , their haircuts and even their mannerisms seem to mimic the most hated of all vile creatures over the last century.

Here's the Beef 'n Taters folks. I've told you about the Xaver System and the Active Denial Sytem haven't I? Did you know these things come from Nazi Germany? Yes , no Shit , they really did. We have been taught that Germany's Wonder Weapon programs were the V-2 rocket , the V-1 Buzz Bomb and the ME-262 jet fighter. These futuristic weapons were being developed to kick the world's ass so the Nazis could take over.

Of course today , WW II history buffs and historians alike know this is just not so. America brought over thousands of both Nazi and German high officials who in return gave "US" technical data and research to continue their work on building their "Wonder Weapons" programs.

Today , the Active Denial Systems and the Xaver Systems are just 2 examples of what this country has developed by spending 500 Billion dollars a year , just on military research alone. Do you remember during this year's debate over a budget , The Republicans said no one would touch this year's money for military research? Do you realize that over the last 10 years , this country has spent over 8 Trillion dollars , just on military research alone? Makes ya wonder what the Fuck are they working on? Ass you read this , we still do not have a budget for 2011.

So there you have it boys and girls. "Our" Franklin Police Department not only looks and acts like Nazis butt they even have Nazi toys to play with. Your tax dollars are so very hard at work for you aren't they? You'll see the folly of this nonsense when it's used on you just for wanting food because you're hungry. I know your not going to take my word for it butt you will in the future when it's too late to listen and heed.

Yeah , Franklin Police will point their little ole Active Denial Systems at you and in no time at all , they'll have you dancing along with everyone else while doing the ever popular "Goose Step" in time to their music.

Yeah people , I can hardly wait for The New World Order to take over. How about you?
:)

Quotes of Note

Franklin , Tennessee -

Detective Black lies are so obvious.

Overheard remark made by District Attorney Kim Helper while standing tall amongst the little people inside those hallowed halls of "Our" courthouse , right behind those rather expensive Greek Column$

:)

Quotes of Note

Franklin , Tennessee -

Why does the police have such a huge building?

To aid in a crime cover up Silly. This happens to be Franklin , you stupid or something or what? Huh , what's your prob?

Overheard at Home Depot
:)

How's That Again?

Franklin , Tennessee - what do you think it means when a Franklin Police officer tells someone it's OKay to take something that does not belong to them. Is'nt that like stealing?

Yep , it sure is.

I actually got to watch one of Franklin's finest tell a person to take an expensive item that did'nt belong to them. He told them , "If you don't take it , I will and I will sell it."

Says a lot for "Our" boys in Blue , don't it?

Remember this the next time Sgt. Warner Tweets about someone being arrested for theft. Don't you think "Our" police officers should be arrested too? Speaking for myself , I sure do. What makes them so special? A badge and a gun and that's all.

Theft is Theft , people. I guess this is something Franklin Police don't understand , eh?

Don't tell me I'm making this up. I was there and I saw it and I heard it.
:)

Quotes and Notes

Franklin , Tennessee -

Have you noticed how Corruption in this town has grown?

Yeah and I wasn't even asked if I wanted in. Can you imagine all of the lost opportunities? I should have bought in when I had the chance.

Anonymous conversation overheard inside the courthouse , right behind those rather expensive Greek Column$

:)

Pay Grade #2 Xaver

Franklin , Tennessee - I've told you about Franklin Police having the the Active Denial Technology toys. Butt now you need to know they also have the Xaver System. This cute little toy allows you to see through walls. Put the 2 together and you've got one cool toy to go after the bad guys with and watch their every move behind closed doors. Of course , "Our" Franklin Police Department doesn't have any bad guys to go after so they occupy their time by using their toys to harass people.

Now of course you're asking , "How good is the picture of this Xaver thing at seeing through those walls?" The answer is:
They know if your sleeping
They know if your eyes are open
They know if you've been good or bad
They know if your reading
They know if your masturbating
They know every key you touch on the keyboard including passwords
They can watch every move you make and video it at the same time

Not every Franklin Police officer knows about this. What they don't know , they can't talk about. Right?

Meanwhile , do you really think that the Franklin Kool Aid blog shut itself down and was deleted because there were no more subjects to write about? Hm? Do you?

Got you fooled , don't they.

The Xaver was developed by Israel and has been in use by Navy SEALS over the past 20 years.



Keep in mind the poor graphics used here are to keep you from learning the actual high quality of what is seen when in use.
:)

Quotes of Note

Franklin , Tennessee -

I don't get it. I really don't
Don't get what?
If this is such a great town to live in , why are the people so afraid to speak up? What are they so afraid of?

Overheard at Steak and Shake
:)

The Proud Bunch

Franklin , Tennessee - while aimlessly wandering around the hallowed halls of their new "Crib" , have you wondered why the police have installed , so many high tech , high level security locks on all of the doors?

They even use the electronic card so they can tell who was in where and over there.

It's because police officers are the worse kind of thieves in this town and no one knows this fact better than "OUR" very own , Franklin Police Department

Meanwhile , BVD pointed out , "You know the situation in Franklin is pretty sad when extra preventative measures are needed to keep a police officer honest."

Quotes and Notes

Franklin , Tennessee -

Franklin Police are known by many traits , BUTT , "Honesty" is not one of them.

Sgt. Taylor FPD

:)

Pay Grade Series #1 Bugs

Franklin , Tennessee - I have told you about bugs being hidden in the city's hotels. For Shits and Grins , I went to one to get a room for the night. I did inform the desk clerk I had snooping equipment to detect hidden bugs and cameras and I WOULD destroy what ever it took to get any offensive item that I found was spying on me in the room.

The clerk then refused to give me a room for the night. I asked if there were spy devices in the hotel and he would not answer , telling me he would call the cops if I lingered on his property.

I will not give the name of the hotel so don't even think of asking me.

Not every Franklin Police officer knows about this because it falls under detective work.
:)

Police Station Has Black Hole

Franklin , Tennessee - BVD News reporting in today , for the old and rather out dated , The Review Appeal news paper

The Vanderbilt Astronomy and Physics Department grad students stumbled onto a Black Hole , right outside the newly built police station.
While on the scene , BVD asked the people standing around , how such a hole could be found here in the first place and a physics grad student stepped up to the mic and said , " I was just walking along , singing a song , to my adviser about my failing grads , when suddenly , I heard a loud scream ! And that's when I noticed , he was'nt listening to me any more. Only by my sheer superior intellect , did I think about looking around inside my own little universe and that's when I noticed this big black hole was just lying right there (pointing) right there on the ground. Can you imagine such a thing ? Oh , hey , I do get to name it , right ? I mean , don't I ? I mean like I did find it , right?"
Pictured , are School of Engineering professors Bowers and Gueirmo , demonstrating the dangers of having Black Holes on the ground , while Professor Mahehaha , looks on.

BVD : Well ? What do you think ?
Professor Mahehaha : Well , I don't think bananas and black holes , are a good mix.
BVD: Why are professors from the engineering school here? Why not the Astronomy department?
Mahehaha: Well , the astronomy students were'nt sure what this was and so the engineering people got called out to investigate this anomaly. This way , if we lose somebody it won't be a some kind of a body of some importance.
BVD: Why do you suppose this hole is here?
Mahehaha: Well , it could be a means of escape. Look here - see this other smaller hole? That's a worm hole coming from the Holding Room joining up with the Black Hole.
BVD: Hmmm , I see .
Mahehaha: Or it could be where 28 million dollars went. Hmmm , I just dunno

Homeland Security Hits Pay Dirt

Franklin , Tennessee - Doug was there when Homeland Security struck pay dirt , inside the police head quarters very own , Greek columns. Standing shotgun over the scene is Homeland Security Associate Scene Supervisor / Special Field Agent In Charge of Scene Security , Ray Gabbanna

Doug : Sir , how did you know there was money in there ( watching money pouring out , from a hole in a column )
Ray : We did'nt. However , satellite imagery clearly showed US , that something was indeed inside these " hollow " columns , giving US the impression , that Franklin Police may be preparing for WW III. I mean , just look at these columns , would you ? They are after all , large enough to house the latest , state of the art missiles from Korea or even Iran and these columns would make excellent , covert missile silos. I mean , just look at these things would ya ? These are the largest Greek columns I've ever seen. Who would have thought that these columns might be used to hide a missile in plain public sight ? Soooooo , we decided to come on over and have a look , you know what I mean ?
Doug: Yes sir , I know what you mean
Ray : Good. I see we are on the same page. ( a loud bang startles everyone to attention ) Damn it Mike , how many times have I got to remind you to shout it out before you do that ?
Mike : Oh , hi Ray , giggling , did'nt see you standing over there :) giggles some more ( a loud chinking sound starts coming from the column ass a river of coins hits the concrete )
Doug : Woooooooooow , you mean there's money in that one too ?
Ray : Sure looks like it , don't it ( looks on dumb founded , as money flows out from the second column ) I've never seen anything like this before.
Doug : Oh my Lord. Are all of these columns full of money ?
Ray : Well , I don't know yet , butt we are sure gonna find out. Satellite imagery shows , that every one of these columns , are full of something

Everyone is suddenly shocked and in awe , ass Jay Johnson steps out of a limo from nowhere , escorted by his Franklin police department with lots of sporting guns , Nazi boots on motorcycles , lights , sirens , spotlights panning about , people dressed in black and wearing dark sunglasses , armored vehicles with gun barrels in every port , a black , unmarked helicopter above with searchlights panning across the ground and lots and lots of more sporting guns , blindingly reflecting the sunlight.
Jay Johnson : O Kay everyone ! Stand back from there. I'm in charge now. ( looks at the money on the ground and starts pulling the hair out of his ass as the pile of money continues growing ass if reaching for the sky ) My MONEEEEEEY ! AAAAAAAAAAH ! ! ! ! MY MONEY ! ! ! ! ! Oh my God ! ! ! ! ! What are you people doing to my money ?
Doug : Your money ? What makes this mess , your money ?
Jay J0hnson : What do you mean ? It's mine alright , I put it there for my safe keeping. Yeah , it's mine all right , now you just stand back from it ya hear ? It's MINE ! ! ! ! !
Ray : Well , it's mine now. ( steps up face to face with Jay Johnson ) It's against the law to hide money in a Greek column :)
Jay Johnson : What do you mean , it's against the law ? Don't you know who I am ?
Ray : No and I don't really care. This money is now impounded. In other words , it's all mine right NOW !
Jay : Well , You will care to know who I am , after I have your stupid ass arrested. Chief ? Now where'd he go this time ? Why does that little fat fart of a bald headed bastard boy always disappear , when I need him the most. Hey Chief jackie , GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE and arrest this guy for me. He's trying to steal our money
Chief jackie : Our money ? ( looks on dumb founded ) You've never said it was " our's " before
Jay : Oh well , heh , heh , heh. Just an over sight my friend , heh , heh , heh , just an over sight , now arrest his ass. GOT THAT ?
Chief jackie : I can't boss. This guy is Homeland Security
Jay : What ? Well-ll-lll , this is Franklin , thank you very much and Damn it all to Hell ! I own this Fucked up one horse of a little town and that means I own everyone and everything in it and that means I own you too. I've spent my life , Fucking everyone to get this far and I'm not about to fall backwards and Fuck myself. Now then , if you can't arrest him , then shoot him.
Chief jackie : I can't shoot him , boss. That would be against the law. Besides , I don't have a gun , remember ? I can't get a permit.
JJ : WHAT DO YOU MEAN AGAINST THE LAW ? I AM THE LAW IN THIS TOWN DAMN IT , DAMN IT , DAMN IT ALL TO HELL , I AM THE LAW ! ( his face is all purplely and about to burst ) DO ASS I SAY and DO IT NOW !
Chief jackie : I , I , I , can't boss. He out ranks me
Jay Johnson : Heee what ?
Chief jackie : He out ranks me. I can't arrest him
Jay Johnson : Oh ? What is he ? Some kind of an associate path ? Well , no problem. You are now hereby promoted to the rank of " High Enough " to arrest his ass. ( with those words , fighter jets suddenly fly over with the Screaming Eagles appearing from out of the clouds , screaming " Death From Above ". On the ground , from Ft. Knox , The MARINES with their Abrams , surround the situation )
Ray : Those would be mine. ( smiling arrogantly ) Any questions ?
Chief jackie : ( looks at JJ like it's the last time they will ever be together again ) If only you had allowed me to order that missile from China
Jay Johnson : Hmm , whaaaat ? Did'nt I tell you ?
Chief jackie : Tell me what ?
Jay Johnson : ( quietly whispers ) The fourth column , it's in the fourth column.
Chief jackie : ( his eyes aglow with love and affection for his boss ) Oh wooooooow. You do have the launch codes , right ? ( talking quietly )
Jay Johnson : Launch codes ? What's that ?

The New Exam Scam

The City of Franklin , Tennessee - The City of Franklin Police Department is constantly looking for a few good men/women. Although Franklinites have been told , despite existing vacancies , the police won't be hiring anyone anytime soon , which explains why 3 candidates were recently hired , to help keep down the gang problem we were told , this city does not have.
Sooooo , if you think you've got what it takes , to be a Franklin Police Officer , here's the short list of the critically accredited acceptable credential limits questionaire ( just ask at the front desk for " The Cackle Test " ) you will need to succeed , once inside the Franklin Police Department :

Answer each question with a " Yes " or " No ". Only one answer per question per person allowed

Did your father breast feed you
Do you obey seat belt laws
Do you text while driving
Do you text while drinking
Do you text while having sex
Do you text while kissing ass
Do you kiss ass to get a head
Do you enjoy hurting people
Do you despise handicap people
Do you obese at the food trough
Do you steal candy from children
Do you despise American Veterans
Do you enjoy making harassing phone calls
Do you enjoy having under age sex partners
Do you enjoy recreational drugs with your friends
Do you enjoy smoking something other than tobacco
Do your real friends not speak to you ( with good reason )
Ass a child , did your parents ignore you ( with good reason )
Do you have sticky fingers from Masturbating or are your fingers just normally sticky
Are you a Brown Nosier ( if you don't sport a Brown ring around your neck before the application process begins , don't worry , you will have a nice shiny one upon completion of an accepted and departmentally accredited training curriculum
Are you a compulsive thief
Are you a back stabber
Are you potty trained
Are you a liar

Cliff Notes : You may not change any answer , please don't ask to do so. Erasing IS NOT allowed on any electronic form. If you answer " No " to any of the above , you may have ended your law enforcement career right then and there , along with any chance of ever being hired. Butt , if you think you screwed up an answer AND you still want in , don't worry. Just be happy and quietly let the examiner know ( slip the man a 20$ ) , that you are trainable and capable of learning something new.

Keep in mind , in addition to the above test , you must also pass two electronically digitized administered tests : The CALEA accredited adaptability and acceptability compliance pre-test and the departmental non-acceptability polygraph test for proving lack of non-compliance ( part B only ) , to factually confirm you meet or exceed all accepted and acceptable , credibility for non-accredited and/or/with all pre-meditative ( includes part A.1c ) , critical and qualitative pre-hiring requirements. ( Note : parts C w/B.1101 and D.a3b w/ q.091 - a , are now required by law by Congress. Be prepared to stay at least 8 hours )

Butt don't worry , the machine is broken and hasn't been fixed in years.